Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
soo... how was my night?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
