I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
