go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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