I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Randomize
