I wanna bring you to show and tell
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
