I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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