Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Alive.
So much puke
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
