forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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