Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
