My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
