hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
