it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
