It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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