Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
