that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Couch. On fire.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
