how can u be prego again
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
