You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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