Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
