marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
