I can tuck mytits in my pants
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just blew my weed a kiss
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
