if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
