All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
