Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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