is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
