This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
