great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
