Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
