Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
