Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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