I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
