Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
