I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
