..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
