that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
