This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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