good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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