So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
