So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
