For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
