just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
