your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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