Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
