So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
