We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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