You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
