So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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