escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
