Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
