I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
