Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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