She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
you never un-have a 4some
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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