i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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