I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
