i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
