Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
