dude i'm inner monologue high
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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