Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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